The “Weight” of the Registry

The weight of the world is on my shoulders. Or that’s how it seems most of the time.

And I’m not even a registrant, I’m just a family member of a registrant.

So if the burden of the registry is this heavy for me, I can only imagine how a registrant feels.

Most days it feels like I’m carrying a ton of bricks on my shoulders.  It can be a struggle to stand up straight and face the world. Sometimes I find myself stooped over, walking with my head down, eyes toward the ground. I pass a mirror and have to remind myself “head up, stand straight, you can do this.”

The registry weighs you down. It’s like slogging through cement.  Hard to move one foot in front of the other, you end up tired long before you ever get to where you’re going.

And, like with all weight issues, nothing fits anymore!

Friends that “used to” fit in my life, well, some of them just don’t seem to fit anymore. Seems there’s no “elastic waistband”  when it comes to the registry.  The weight of the word  “registry” alone is enough to tip the scales in our lives when it comes to friends.

And I’m not even a registrant, just a family member of a registrant.

Just the weight of the word “registry” began to weight me down when it was first mentioned by attorneys, years ago, even before sentencing.

Registry, Registry, Registry!

It’s a heavy, oppressive beast of a word. It seems to have a life of it’s own.

Back in the early days of this journey I imagined “life on the registry” would be difficult for my family member, but the shear “weight” of it never occurred to me.

Just the “thought” of the registry makes me sick, but the “weight” of it, all it’s implications, all it’s rules and regulations, it wears me down, takes it’s toll on my immune system. Is it my imagination or have I never had as many physical ailments in my life as I have since my family member became a “registry” member?

And let’s not even get into the mental health issues. The depression, malaise, sadness, fear, all those cumbersome feelings that we stuff down but still carry with us on a daily basis.

And, we’re not even the registrant!

Yes, the “weight” of the registry certainly does a number on us. All of us.  Registrant and family member alike.

But, don’t despair….

Like alot of people, we all spend a good part of our lives trying to “lose a few extra pounds”.

As long as we all keep working together, we can lose this “registry weight” too!





8 thoughts on “The “Weight” of the Registry

  • Broken mom

    I have searched through the blogs and cannot find anyone who has a juvenile child who was adjudicated for child molestation in Missouri. Surely we aren’t the only ones. What my family and my child are going through is nothing less than hell. Who can we turn to for help.? The juvenile office won’t let us register him in school. The disposition hearing hasn’t been held yet and we are in limbo. We do not know where to go for answers. He will have to register until he is 21. He is barely 14. Childhood curiosity gone way wrong.

    • Broken Mom-
      Go to the WAR website homepage and call the support line number.
      There’s always support available.
      And don’t give up hope.

      • Kat,
        Thank you for responding to Liz. We have talked by email, I have talked the her husband by phone and we have some members close by then going to call.


  • hey whatever happened to the lawsuit against the registry from w.a.r.??

    • I spoke with one of the legal team members today and they are very very close to filing the Missouri lawsuit which will be followed by the federal suit in the 8th district in downtown St. Louis. Hope to be able to announce it is filed soon. Vicki

  • It’s all over money. Research how the registry even got started. It’s a complete shame , because our children are the future of this country.

  • Ranger11bv

    We need to work on getting rid of the life time registration laws. If your on them, you are banned from federal housing, even if you are a vet,like me.

  • excellently well said. it truly is a weight and a shadow that affects everyone from the ‘registrant’ to everyone related or associated with them.


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