One Picture’s Worth A Thousand Words!
According to one Missouri resident, the county has apparently made a few changes to their SO Registration policies.
One of the changes is where one registers, it used to be at the jail, behind closed, locked doors and now it’s in the open public lobby of the sheriff’s office within sight and earshot of everyone and anyone. The hours to register used to be 24/7, any day, but that’s been changed to require an appointment well in advance and only Mon-Fri between the hours of 8AM-3PM.
But this, this is the part I find sad, demeaning, humiliating and shameful. (But keep reading, I have an idea…)
When a registrant went in to register, he was wearing a business suit.
And he was questioned as to WHY he was wearing a suit !
He answered the question honestly, “I like to look good and I wear a business suit about 1/2 the time in my business.”
When he inquired as to what the problem was with his attire, he was told that “we like to see registrants dressed the way people see them on a daily basis.”
His reply “Well, here it is.”
Not surprisingly, the sheriff’s office didn’t take just one photo of the registrant that day, but several.
Was the sheriff’s office attempting to “shame” this registrant because he took pride in his appearance?
They surely seemed to imply that a registrant should have no business wearing a business suit for heaven’s sake. They probably had difficulty believing a registrant even had a business to go to !
Aren’t all registrants stereotyped as seedy, sketchy looking creeps, with disheveled hair, wearing ill-fitting, dirty t-shirts and soiled, wrinkled, baggy trousers. Aren’t all registrants jobless and too indigent to even own a nice looking business suit? Don’t they all spend their days driving around in unmarked white vans with tinted windows, following unsuspecting children and trying to entice them in to helping finding non-existent lost puppies.?
That’s the picture the police have in their mind of a registrant. That’s the picture they want the public to see on the registry!
They want and expect you to “look the part“ when you get your picture taken.
If John Q. Public sees photos on the registry of registrants in business suits, what will they think? “These can’t be sex offenders, they’re in business suits, nicely dressed, they look just like the rest of us!”
And here’s where my idea comes in…..
Everyone, dress well for that registry photo.
You don’t necessarily need a suit, but dress nicely, be well groomed, take pride in your appearance.
Don’t let anyone shame you into believing that you are less than you are or that your photo needs to reflect some fictional television stereotype sex offender.
If a photo’s worth a thousand words, let this one photo show the world that you are worthy and proud and that you will not be shamed!
I have 3 children, well I used to have 3 children. My wife left me because my oldest son felt like I abandoned him when he started playing school sports and blames me for every one of his failures. See my oldest son was awarded the presidential award for academics when he left grade school and then poof, no more dad to watch over and guide him. Teenagers push boundaries, so when he pushed, I wasn’t allowed to correct him or talk to his teachers to help coordinate his schooling. I used to be his super hero and now I’m just that guy on the registry.
I went through years where I didn’t have to register due to expo facto ruling by the MO Supreme Court, so I was allowed to go to all school functions and I was allowed to be a parent and human being. Then Sorna went into effect and then all of a sudden when the Federal Government was going to take away funding that it was no longer Expo Facto, AMAZING…Back in the dumpster…
I’ve always supported my kids, my boys play football and I was the loudest parent in the bunch. I went to every practice and I never missed a game. We have 2 city officers and 2 county officers as parents and they told me that they would never arrest me for being there for my kids, also if you couldn’t hear me, then you knew I wasn’t there.
My boys also have dabbled in baseball. For years I have gone to their practices and games and now this year I’ve been told that I cannot take (yes take, not stay) to practices or games. Apparently, the police officer that works at the school, well his son finally stopped taking ballet and took away the et. Granted, I had only dropped off and picked up my son for practices and talked to some of the other parents that I knew from football.
Well, this good samaritan officer must have felt threatened by the photo of me that they have hanging in the lounge areas at the school (yes they do). He felt it necessary to lie and say that I was out on the field among all of the kids playing with them. So the Sheriff had my SOO send me a letter banning me from taking my kids to the park or going to any games since there is playground equipment somewhere (1/2 mile from practice fields and 2000 feet from the game field).
Now I’m not allowed to go to schools parent-teacher conferences, sporting events, awards ceremonies (and my kids get a lot of awards), etc. My kids have an average IQ of 130+ and are some of the most social kids in the schools. I get compliments from complete strangers in stores, teachers, etc. I’m proud of my kids and I do not want what happened to my oldest to avalanche into my 2 other kids. My youngest son is just plain mad, now we don’t even get baseball as that has been taken away also.
I feel that I’m a very respected parent and person in the community for the people and parents that know me. For my oldest son, my wife told me not to make any waves and just sit at home. Well, she never did sports or academics, so they have been just lost. She’s even sent her employees to their parent-teacher conferences, but thats another story.
I’m tired of sitting on my thumbs and waiting for my children to grow up so I can become a part of their lives again. I’ve tried to raise my children to be amazing people, only to lose one to this perverted system of a supposed norm to be protected from me and my kind. Who are they to judge and give penance to me and my children? Are they going to raise them until they get home, while I set confined in it?
I want to take the fight to them, I want to knock on their door to ask them how I could raise my children any better. The schools say they want parents to interact and be a part of their children’s education and then they look at the bulletin board and say, all parents but you. We allow murderers, drug dealers, and thieves, but they’ve paid their debt to society, but mine will never be paid.
I’ve been trying to reach out to some lawyers to see if anyone would take up this fight, not for me, but for my children. Even though being on the registry falls under Expo Facto and is illegal. I do not want my 2 youngest to have the same contempt for me that my oldest does. Creating anger for a system that has robbed them of their Dad only to blame the only person that has truly been there for them their entire lives. They are Bastarised by the system.
I’ve been on the registry on and off for almost 20 years and was convicted in 1992. I initially didn’t mind the registry, but now it’s affecting my ability to get work, so I can take care of my family and pay my bills. I hate the fact that I’m having to declare bankruptcy, so now the public is going to have to pay my bills.
I worked my way from a shipping clerk to the Credit Manager of a Iconic worldwide business and then poof, one of my co-workers felt I was going to take her job so she told some of my VP’s who I “really” was. Of course, they couldn’t have one of their department heads with a record like mine so they released me with a nice little severance.
So now I’m bouncing from one job to another, that is until they pull up my record. I’m a beast at interviews and truthfully I’ve never failed at whatever I do in business. I’ve now been unemployed since January, granted I have had several interviews and nailed them, but then the background check comes back and poof. No emails or calls, so I could at least sell me beyond what they read on the registry.
I have many more horror stories, but this isn’t about me, it’s about the innocence of my children that society is so hell-bent on destroying. My children are great at public speaking and I’ve taught them to be kind, modest and honest. I had an argument with the superintendent about going to my son’s award ceremony and that day we were red-lined to DFS by my daughter’s counselor. Supposedly Magically out of the blue she pulled my daughter into her office to talk.
After 45 minutes of interrogating my 7-year-old daughter, she finally got her to admit it scares her when I argue with my teenage son. Then once the 2 ladies from DFS arrived we all had a very open discussion with my family and a residence check, we got a glowing review from DFS telling us how open our children were speaking with them and that they want nor need for anything. Heck, my teenage son even admitted that he breaks rules on purpose to start arguments because he knew that I couldn’t discipline him and he was the one that takes them too far, just to see how far he could push me.
So can someone please HELP ME save my FAMILY or at least what is left of it…Thank You
Send a copy of this letter to your state representatives. Let them know how the registry is destroying not only your life but your children’s lives as well. The more of us that “tell it like it is” the more likely those wielding the power to change things will help us to make that change.
Hoping for the best for you and your family.
Interesting point. I have noticed that some years they insist on a photo and say it is not optional. Other years they just skip it entirely. I never related it to how I might have looked. I am always told not to smile and that I need to hold my head this way or that. I never thought about why. One thing I have done is to always ware exactly the same shirt and to look exactly the same on every registration. I only ware that shirt on registration day and none of the other 364 days in the year. One can only guess why you would never see me in public in a shirt that color.
Illinois requires a photo every time you register. I’ve noticed in the 11 years I’ve had to do it. This is maybe 25 photos now. When I dress nice, clean shaven, they don’t like to take a picture. And the few times I’ve had beard scruff or was and looked sickly. Those pictures made it.
Also I’ve been told several times not to smile. I always put on the biggest smile I can! I’m not breaking any laws. They don’t like to add the smile pictures to the registry. Maybe there’s 5 photos up, throughout the years.
-John